Pete: Hello! Good Morning! This is Pete Foggybottom for the What’s Happenin’ Now news, and today my special guest in the studio is none other than the amazing guitar player, Argyle, from the hit group The Kazooks! Argyle, it is great to have you with us today.
Argyle: Thanks, Pete, great to be here finally.
Pete: Yeah, you had me sweating for awhile, there. Audience, Argyle just actually got here literally 10 seconds before we went live on air. Was there some delay?
Argyle: No, not really, I’m just a turtle, you know, we move pretty slow. Even in a hurry. I finally persuaded the fellow on the road in front of me to hold out some lettuce behind him to induce me to go even faster.
Pete: And by “lettuce”, you mean money, cash?
A: No, just lettuce. I love that stuff.
A: Oh, yeah, That’s what motivated me to join the band, all the lettuce they said we’d be rolling in. But as it turned out, THEY meant cash money. I mean, cash money is great, but it’s NOT lettuce. So now I have to buy my own lettuce. Walk to the store. Walk to the produce section. Try to nod at some human to notice me on the floor. I can’t use my hands to wave someone down or attract attention to me, I need all four of them to stand up. Finally someone takes pity on me and hands me a head of lettuce. Walk to the checkout line. Walk home. By then a week has passed and its already time again to go to the store again for some more lettuce.
P: Now let me ask you about your name. Do you have a last name?
A: No. All of the great musicians only have one name. Elvis. Cher. Argyle.
P: Well, they actually HAD last names, Elvis Presley, Cher Bono. They just became so famous they didn’t need to use them. Are you saying that you are that famous?
A: Well, I’M here, aren’t I? I don’t see you interviewing Elvis.
P: Okay, okay. So no last name?
A: Really, turtles don’t use last names. Mostly, we’re fortunate to get ANY name. Usually people just call us The turtle or Your turtle, like when someone’s Mom or Dad says “did you feed Your Turtle today?” or “did you clean The Turtle’s bowl?”. It’s very demeaning. Its like when someone calls you “Hey, Kid” instead of Pete.
P: I can see that. So who named you, your parents, or some human child?
A: Well, I was “the turtle” for quite awhile. One day I escaped my bowl and crawled into an argyle pattern sock on the floor that the little boy had left there. When his Mom found me on laundry day, she named me Argyle, after the sock.
P: Your style of guitar playing is pretty rhythmic, it’s not really any blistering leads. Is that on purpose?
A: Well, once again, we turtles don’t do much of anything very fast. About the fastest I can play is the riff on “Comedy Cops”. But I do play the rhythmic patterns well, maybe because “argyle” is the name of a pattern!
P: And you have been socking it to the world of music ever since. Now, the kazooks are quite an eclectic group of animals, I mean, you don’t normally see a turtle and a rabbit around a hippo and an elephant. How did you guys get to know one another and start the band?
A: I met Skitch Chup-Chup, the rabbit drummer, at the races one day. His agent was a mouse who had introduced him to Mexico the elephant, who played bass. That mouse agent had been trying to talk Mexico into allowing him to represent him, but, of course, being he was a mouse, Mexico was really afraid to do that. And Mexico knew our singer from growing up in Africa, and he kept his information handy, Justin Case.
P: Well thank you Argyle, for talking to us today, and we wish you much success in your new endeavor with the kazooks. You have a new DVD/CD out, I understand?
A: Yes, and it is chock full of celebrity cameo appearances. When you talk to Justin the Hippo you should ask him how it was to shoot the Beautimous ‘Potamus video. I think they had every Miss Hippopotamus winner for the last 15 years that ended up in that video. The whole hippo community is abuzz about it.
P: Thanks again, Argyle. That’s all the time we have today. This is Pete Foggybottom with the What’s Happenin’ Now news.